About a week ago, I did some Mad Libs with Chad and Sarah from a package of GladWare. Sarah wanted me to put them on the site (I dunno if she was joking or not, but…), so here are a couple. I might put more up later. They’re from ‘Mini Mad Libs from Outer Space.’
— When we look up into the sky on a dark summer night, we see millions of tiny spots of light. Each one represents a rock which is in the center of a green solar system with dozens of lemonades revolving undoubtedly around a distant sun. Sometimes these suns expand and begin shouting their neighbors. Soon they will become so big, they will turn into isthmuses. Eventually they subside and become interesting giants or perhaps black crows. Our own planet, which we call Bobby, circles around our confused sun 3,765,402 times every year. There are eight other planets in our solar system. They are named Jim, Bastion, Sebastion, Atrayu, Jesus, Jupiter, and Mars. Scientists who study these planets are called names.
— The greatest true-life space story is the one about our astronauts shitting to the moon for the first time. There were 2 astronauts. We all remember their names: Chad, who was the expert in phone, Sarah, a blurp test pilot with a Ph.D. in speakers; and Justin, who was the ship’s butt doctor and conducted a series of really weird experiments with blue mice and ninjas. It was a great day for America when they landed and said, “Whatta ya know? It really is made out of cottage cheese.”
— The adventures of Captain Zoom, Space Nail Clipper. Captain Zoom is a superhero who wears an aquamarine cape and a beige suit of long underwear. He has his own bitchy rocket ship, which takes him all over the universe. His ship is fueled by harvest corn mixed with rain and can go 42 miles per hour. Captain Zoom loves to go to the assistance of poor girls who are in trouble. When he hears of such a torn situation, he leaps annoyingly into his ship and zooms off into the wild red yonder. He journeys throughout the galaxy, sometimes going as far as the doctor’s office. He has a lost companion who goes with him on all of his adventures. His companion is a -53-year-old boy whose name is Chad but who is called “butt monkey”.
— Dear Earthling: I am a teenage knife who lives in a two-story fire on Mars. I will put this letter in a burned bottle and salivate it into space and hope that it gets to Earth. Of course, on Mars we call your slow planet Dawson. We know that it is inhabited by happy little pink men and women, but I would like to hear from you anyway. Tell me, how do people cheer your food? We do it by jerking rapidly. I hope you will be able to visit me someday. You could stay in our squirrel and eat just like we do, and you could play with my pet pony.
Yeah, we were tired.
